July 22, 2013

"What beautiful people..." - Monday Musings by Jennifer

Recently in Europe a friend said this to me: "What beautiful people to have adopted you...you have to admit it takes really beautiful people to do that kind of a thing."  She smiles and I smile back, swallowing a silent little lump of sadness. 

Beautiful people?

Yes, of course I think my parents are two of the most beautiful people in the world.  But not because they adopted children.  They are beautiful because of who they are, the art they create, the family they built, the things they have taught me as their adopted daughter. 

But are they beautiful because they adopted me?  Are they beautiful because they would not have had any children at all if it weren't for adoption?  Is necessity the virtue that makes them beautiful?

This comment triggers a flashback.  A fellow Ph.D. classmate is sitting and typing beside us at a cafe.  He says, "Jennifer, don't you think it takes a special kind of person to adopt a child, one who is not 'their own'...?  I mean, that's unique." 

And I can't help but wonder, does it take an equally 'special' and 'beautiful' adopted person/child to adapt to an entirely new family, continent and country?  To be completely cut off from their roots and still smile through it all and say, yes, isn't this wonderful to not know who I look like?  And isn't it wonderful to not have any access to my genetic and family ancestry, to not know the stories of where I come from and of who I really am...?

Yes, I wholeheartedly agree.  My parents are beautiful people.  But it's not because they adopted me.  Adoption has nothing to do with their inherent beauty, or mine for that matter.  At least, this is what I think today, filled with Monday's musings on belonging, home and the notion of true beauty.

Cross-posted from One World: Chinese Adoptee Links Blog

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